Wacky Wednesday - Women only

Notice in the title it says "women only" so if you do not or aren't sure if you fall into that group, keep in mind that I did warn you before I started on my wacky vents of the day!!!

So let's get started!

Wacky Vent #1

I have come to the conclusion that ALL women are related. We all seem to have, or had, a particular relative in common. And that relative is our Aunt Flo. And if you happen to fall into this "woman" category, you know EXACTLY who I am talking about. She's a real bitch!!! I know, I don't usually swear (here), but that should express my detest for this one particular family member!!!

I got up this morning and planned out my whole day (for once). Today might be the last warm day for a while, so I chose a pair of nice capris. Ya know, the light colored ones. Well, apparently Aunt Flo did not approve of this fashion choice! Who the heck does she think she is, Stacy London?!?

I don't see a resemblance. Do you?

Then, I figured I'd take my son for a nice walk and enjoy the weather. Maybe look at all the leaves and teach him a little about nature. Well, that and he was bugging me ALL morning to go for a walk. I needed to get him to stop asking me the same thing again...and again...and again. Yet again, Aunt Flo deterred me from this. Damn her!!!
I can't wait til she leaves! I'd pack her bags myself and kick her to the curb, but I have no idea where she hid the darn things!!!!

Wacky Vent #2

I'm changing the way our "girls" are sized to a grading system. In other words, guys are gonna start drooling over some A's instead of those double D's. Let me further clarify this...."A" would come first which means that A=awesome and therefore making me awesome. Can you guess where I'm going with this one? Let's just say my girls are nothing to write home about.

And think about it, the bigger we are, the more we complain. So ladies, if you're not happy with your grade, than go back to school and do what needs to be done to get a better grade. You don't need to strive to be like me and get an A, but if you have a failing grade, I bet a B or C would look pretty good!

And finally....

Wacky Vent #3

Hair! If it's there, why do we need to remove it? Seriously, who thought it was beautiful for a woman to have smooth legs? Probably a man. I bet they never tried to shave their legs. Unless he's Michael Phelps or something. Shaving my legs in a pain in the arse!!! Once you get one leg half shaved and half shaved off (I don't care how good your razor claims to be - they all butcher our legs), then you have to do the other one. So what's the lesser of 2 evils....A)1 smooth leg and 1 covered with band-aids or 2)hairy legs? And yes, we women use band-aids because we know just how retarded it looks to use pieces or toilet paper!!!

And eyebrows! Oh, don't get me started! If we were meant to have 2, then we should have been given 2. And NO I do NOT have a uni-brow!!! But some people do and this goes out on their behalf. I've never had my brows professionally done so I really have no idea how much it is for that procedure, but even if it is cheap, you have to keep going back! It's not a one stop quick fix type of thing. And you try to perfect your eyebrows yourself....that HURTS!!!!!

It's hard being a woman!!!!

Until next time....

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