Send some luck please

Before send out my plea for help, I do want to take a moment to point out that Girl Scouts is a great organization.

For the girls. Adults? Not so much!

GG has been in scouts for a few years now and she looks forward to each and every meeting. I have been a leader for almost 2 years now and I dread each and every meeting. The meetings with the girls as well as the leader meetings.

Tonight I get the pleasure of experiencing my very first sleepover as a leader.

Enter plea for help.....NOW!!!

Assuming we don't get lost, we should arrive a little after 6pm. From the time we arrive to 11pm, the schedule is packed. There will be ice skating, tie-dye shirt making, hot dog roasting and s'more making. I am looking forward to the activities. The other girls who will be there? I'm scared. The place where we are going can hold up to 600 people for these overnight trips. That's a lot of girls all between the ages of 5 and 9.

Enter plea number 2..... NOW!!!

At the end of the night, oh, say, around 11:15 a movie will be shown on the ceiling of the arena. I don't know who thought it was a good idea to show a movie this late a night, but whatever. The best part is, we all get to sleep on astroturf to watch the movie.

Enter plea number 3.... NOW!!!

Assuming we all make it through the night, we can all wake up bright eyes and bushy tailed at 7am for breakfast. I'm not sure if I ever mentioned this, but I am anything but a morning person. People who know me refuse to talk to me until I've had at least one cup of coffee. The people I am spending the night do not know this. It could get ugly!

You might think this sounds like a fantabulous time, and it sort of does. You might also think that GG and I can return home Saturday morning (they kick us out of there at 8) and sleep all day. This one you are wrong. Both of my kids have soccer games so we will be at the field from 10:30 to 12:30.

Enter plea number 4.... NOW!!!!

If I make it through the night, I fear I won't survive the morning. Please wish me luck and keep me in your thoughts during what could be a tough time.

Until next time (hopefully)....

Our own aviary

Lories at the aviaryIn my city we have a wonderful aviary. There are all kinds of birds there. I love going in to the tropical room. It's like Where's Waldo, except with birds. You could stand in that room for hours and never see the same bird twice.

But my absolute favorite are the Lories. Those are Lories over there on the left. Everybody gets a cup of nectar before walking into their room. They perch on your shoulders and arms, as well as drink the nectar from your cup. Loud, but beautiful birds.

I have decided that this summer we may not visit the aviary. The price of everything is going up. I'm ready to have another child just so I could sell it to be able to put gas in our car.

Instead of going to the Aviary, the kids and are going to line our camping chairs on the back porch and watch what is already out there.

Last week I shared pictures of the robin nest forming on a shelf on our back porch. This thing is a monstrosity! Originally I decided that robins are the hoarders of birds. Other than twigs, there were wrappers and dryer sheets up in that nest. Upon further investigation, I realized that they are not hoarders. They are very resourceful birds.

The mass of twigs, from what I can figure, is a make-shift tree. Building on the shelf provides stability. Tucked in the way back of the mass of twigs and garbage is an actual nest.

Robin nest

I'm sure before we know it, that little nest will be full of tiny blue eggs. Let's just hope that the birds don't try to fly in the house. Being right next to the back door, this could be a real possibility.

Not only do we have the robins to sit and watch, but I have noticed the beginnings of yet another nest. This one is being built by tiny birds. Wrens perhaps? Their nest is tucked up in the awning of our porch roof. I can't take a picture and I can't knock it out even if I wanted to. And I kind of do!

These wrens are so skittish. I can see them sitting in the trees with nest materials in their beaks, patiently waiting for me or the kids to disappear. So different from the robins who, quite frankly, couldn't care less.

This summer we will be bird watching from the comfort of our back porch. You are more than welcome to join us. I may have to charge you a small fee. I do need to put gas in the car if I want to get food to feed my family.

Wordful Wednesday by


Until next time....

I should be fired

I want to start out by saying that, yes, we had a wonderful Easter. But not without some bumps in the road.

The morning started off entirely too early. My husband is one awesome man because he typically lets me sleep in on the weekends. Even though he so graciously does that, I still set my alarm. If left to my own devices, or lack of, I could sleep well past noon. Yesterday morning I woken up by little voices more than an hour before my alarm was set to go off. Combine that with staying up to midnight the night before waiting for said little voices to fall into dreamland. It wasn't pretty. I wasn't pretty!

Little Dude had already found his basket. I heard the husband telling him to stop looking for things until I woke up. That was my cue because I know my kids have less patience than I do. I rolled out of bed, curled up on the couch, and watched them through one open eye as they started looking for the hidden eggs.

In the process of looking for the eggs, GG found her basket cleverly hidden inside an old book bag. Right at this moment it occurred to me the hula hoop the bunny was supposed to hide was still hanging in the basement. Thank goodness she got wrapped up in helping Little Dude find the one last egg. I slipped downstairs to grab the hula hoop, tip toed back upstairs, and hid it behind the door she had looked behind no less than 10 times for her basket. Easter has made me realize that my kids are anything but observant when they are told to find things. She never once questioned why the hula hoop didn't' appear until the 11th time she looked behind that door.

By 10am, I should have been fired. I think someone gave me leeway because I had hard boiled eggs successfully. The first time! That's twice in 8 years now. Not bad!

Had I been fired then, the events towards the end of the afternoon would never have happened.

The rest of the morning at home went out without a hitch, as well as the few hours spent at my in-laws. An hour after we arrived at my mom's house, things took a turn. Thank goodness I was the only one who noticed.

You see, after leaving my in-laws house, we had to stop home for a few things. The husband wanted to lay down for a few minutes before we went to my mom's house. During that time, Little Dude thought it was a good idea see how loud he could fart, thus grossing his sister out. Quite frankly it grossed me out, too! I didn't think much of it until a few hours later at my mom's.

While chasing his sister around the house (damn the layout of my mom's house that leads to running in circles!), I caught sight of the back end of my dear, sweet boy. I'm not ruling out what I saw as evidence of his farting competition with himself, but I'd prefer to think of it as him sitting on something.

Never again will my boy wear khaki pants. I should be fired for this!

So, how was your Easter?

Until next time....

Rain, Rain, Go Away!

Spring is one of my favorite seasons. Flowers are blooming, the grass is growing and turner greener by the day. It is also the season where I can start sending the kids outside to play. Without bundling them up like Randy from Christmas Story.

The kids have had plenty of days where they can play outside. They have even had recess outside quite a bit. However, they still can't do the super important things. And by super important, I mean the activities we pay for.

The Spring Soccer season started in the beginning of April. By this point, both kids should have had 5 practices and 4 games. In reality, Little Dude has had no more than 1 practice and 1 game. GG hasn't had any practices yet, but she was able to get a game in.

So far, every Tuesday this month it has rained. It has gotten to the point that GG's coach doesn't say the word "cancelled" anymore when he calls each and every Tuesday. He now says "It's Tuesday so of course it's raining. I'll see you Saturday." I feel bad for the poor girl. She loves the sport and really wants to get out there and play.

As for Little Dude, I've come to realize that his coach is a wuss. It doesn't matter that he is fresh out of the army. He's a wuss! Some of his cancellations are legit - it really is raining. Last night? There was no reason for that. Yes, there was a chance of rain, but we all know how weather (wo)men are - only right 50% of the time! It never did rain. Suck it up man! Let's just hope Little Dude doesn't call him a wuss because I may or may not have said that statement aloud after the phone call.

This weekend is supposed to be nice. I'm thinking I should probably take some pictures of the kids playing. The way this season is going, who knows when I'll get the chance again!

Until next time....

Tweet, tweet

When I first noticed this, I thought that birds were smart. Up until last Fall w had a cat that lived on our back porch. The cat has since moved onto the big litter box in the sky. I thought the birds were smart because they noticed this, therefor thinking it was ok to make a nest on our back porch.

Tweet, tweet

It's not the best picture, but it was the only one I could get of the bird in it's nest. In case you can't tell, that's a robin. I her they're supposed to bring luck. I hope so!

For a few days I watched the nest being built. I could see the birds flying past our dining room window to the shelf on the wall. If I stood far enough back in the yard, they would be daring enough to build while I watched.

Just when I thought these birds were smart, they blew my theory right out of the water.

This is the most recent picture of the monstrosity of a nest. It's actually a little bigger than this, if you can believe that.

Bird nest
Yes, that is a plastic wrapper up in there. Probably not safe! I didn't dare mess with the nest. Thankfully the plastic wrapper fell out. The dryer sheet? Not so much!

To further prove my "birds are actually dumb" theory, I would also like to point out that right before this picture was taken, one of the robins delivering more twigs (like there aren't enough up there already) completely missed it's landing point. Instead of the nest, it flew smack into my dining room window. Smooth, bird. Real smooth!

Wordful Wednesday by


Until next time....

To hell and back

This past weekend was full of birthday parties for Little Dude. The first one wasn't so bad. The Dude went bowling. The kids, all boys, were confined to 3 lanes and 1 party room. Everything was under control and all adults knew where all the children were at any given moment. It was a thing of beauty!

Sunday's party? That was a completely different story!

Sunday's party was at Chuck E. Cheese, aka hell.

I am not a fan of that place. Rude people, rude kids, and quite frankly, I don't always do well in crowded situations.

The birthday boy was talking this party up for a good 2 weeks. The last thing I could do was tell my boy "no". I wanted him to go and have fun. It was me who didn't want to be there. Chuck E. Cheese is just far enough from where we live that it made no sense to drive back home. Have you seen the price of gas? That and there wasn't an end time on the invitation. Who does that?!

Anybacktotheparty, Little Dude spent a good 45 minutes playing in the tube things hanging from the ceiling. I could not get him out of there, even when we finally got some tokens. I got tired of trying to figure out where in the maze of tubes he was, so I started people watching. As much as I love people watching, there are just some things that you can never unsee. For example, the middle-aged woman with her boobs banging off her knees as she walked. She also didn't have any front teeth. There was also the young mother whose outfit appeared cute from the front. From the back? She bent over to help her kid with shoes. Let's just say crack kills.

Thank goodness Charlie Brown's teacher came over the intercom to announce that the pizza for our party was ready. After the kids finished their pizza, we got a lovely rendition of a Justin Beiber song, via Chuck E. himself. This was followed by the party hostesses doing some kind of crazy dance, complete with clapping and chants. Not a job for me!

Once my ears were done bleeding, it was off to the game floor once again. Chuck E. Cheese offers beer and at this point, I was seriously considering getting one. And I don't drink beer!

I successfully talked the Dude out of climbing through the maze of tubes. He had 25 tokens to spend and I wanted to get the hell out of dodge! Don't you know, as we placed our last token in a game, birthday boy's grandma drops a handful of tokens in our cup. Gee, thanks! Luckily we found some games where you could quickly drop in tokens and get a ton of tickets. Sadly (for me), birthday boy's dad dropped another handful of tokens in our cup just as we were disposing of our last from the previous handful.

At this point, I stopped making eye contact with anyone I knew to avoid being forced to spend anymore time in hell. Finally our last token was used and our tickets were counted. Incidentally, whoever invented to ticket counting machine? Genius! I was ready to pick our prizes and get back home. I did not account for the family in front of us in line for prizes that had no less than 500 tickets per kid. There were 5 kids. Forty minutes later, the boy had his 3 dinky prizes and we were out the door!

I'm so glad that he had fun. But I'm not looking forward to returning to hell any time soon!

Until next time....

It hurts my head!

I think it's safe to say that every child claims to hate school. I know GG is guilty of this. But deep down, she really does love school. She does well in class, has a bunch of friends, and we rarely hear complaints.

Math has long been one of her favorite subjects. Last year in second grade, her teacher told me on numerous occasions to push for her to be in the CalcuSolve program. This is a program for third through fifth graders. They work together doing various math problems, and after a month or so of practice, they compete with neighboring schools.

I was so excited when CalcuSolve began back in March and she was included. However, my excitement for this program has recently ceased. I always did well in math and up until last night, I have been more than willing (and able) to help her. Last night I felt like the biggest dumbass on the planet after trying to help her.

She had 9 problems to complete for today. It would have been nice if she started them a few days ago, but that's neither here nor there. She needed some help with 2 of the problems. Assuming the teacher doesn't have a problem with guessing, than my answers are spot on! I literally pulled some numbers out of my ass. With a little tweaking, we solved the problems.

She went up to her room to finish the packet. When I went up to check on her, she told me she couldn't figure the last 2 problems out. I said I would take a look and help her figure out the answer. Perhaps I was really tired, or my kids really have killed off all of my brain cells. Looking at those problems hurt my head!

Because I'm not a patient person and can't wait til the end of the day to find the solutions, I'm putting the problems on here. Hopefully someone can help this idiot find the answers.

1. To find the length of a certain rectangle, you must double the width and add 6 meters. If the perimeter of the rectangle is 56 meters, what is the length of the rectangle?

Clue: 2(length) + 2(width) = perimeter

2. Five years ago, Ben was 2/3 as old as Kris. Ten years from now he will be 5/6 as old as Kris. How old is Kris now?

Can you do elementary math? I sure can't!

Until next time....

Oh, boy!


They are so much fun!

So much fun that if I knew then what I know now, my son would be an only child!

Let's start with crayons. In particular, a brown crayon. That found it's way to my washing machine. It either colored on half of the load while getting a bath or it made it's way into my dryer as well. Let's just say that if it weren't for OxiClean, neither my son nor my favorite Winter Classic sweatshirt would be here right now.

Moving on. The bathroom sink. While we can't prove that he was involved in the clogging of it in any way, we have our suspicions. I'm not sure why Q-tips were in the sink once the water drained, but I'm not ruling out the possibility that Little Dude put them in there.

My latest discovery would be the Etch-a-Sketch. Apparently there was water coming out of it when he would shake it to erase a picture. I'm only saying it is water because I'm afraid to think what else that liquid could be.

This Etch-a-Sketch issue is not an urgent matter. Obviously he couldn't use it to make me a fantabulous picture at that very moment, but he was supposed to be in bed trying to sleep anyway. What I can't figure out is why he had to barge into the bathroom while I was showering to ask me what was wrong with said toy. I had shampoo dangerously close to my eye at that point. The Etch-a-Sketch was the least of my concerns.

These events, plus a few others, are all within the same week. Right now I thank the heavens that Little Dude is in school 5 out of the 7 days per week. Summer vacation is fast approaching. I fear I may very well lose my mind in those 3 months.

Why are boys so much fun?!

Someone please tell me there actually is some sort of liquid inside an Etch-a-Sketch so I can stop freaking out!

Until next time....

What would you do?

Kids are hard. Parenting is hard. A manual really would have been nice when we started our family. Since that is not the case, I must to turn to other methods of getting advice.

Luckily for me, a community comes with blogging. When a blogger has a question or needs some advice, there is usually someone out there who can help. This is where I am right now. I'll give you the situation and hopefully someone can offer some advice.

Bobby is 5 and Jan is 9.

They've been playing quietly for a while now. Almost too quiet, so you pop your head in to check on them.

You overhear Bobby telling Jan a "super secret that no one else can hear".

The secret - Bobby really loves his friend Joe.

As Jan is walking away, you hear her say, "Dude, you're gay!"

What would you have done?

Do you walk away and say nothing? After all, kids will be kids. They say some crazy stuff when they think no one is listening.

Or do you address the situation? With one or both of them? Bobby probably doesn't even know what "gay" means. Jan may know a little, but not everything. If this is the route you choose, what do you say?

Yes, I overheard this conversation, and no, I am not telling you my reaction yet. I've been thinking about my reaction, and looking back, I'm not sure if it was the right one. I need your thoughts please.

Until next time....

I love you, but I don't always like you

Alternately titled: Kids say and do the darndest things

If you read my post the other day about how to survive life with a son, than you know that my own son can be a handful. I often tell people that if he was born first, and I knew then what I knew now, he would have been an only child!

Little Dude loves playing jokes on people. When he learned about April Fools Day, he was over the moon excited. All week leading up to the first, he tried playing jokes on anyone and everyone. The stunt that he pulled last night was a little late, but I think it was his best joke. With some help from me!

On April Fools Day, I couldn't think of anything to do to the kids. I'm always tempted to tell the husband I'm pregnant, but I could never get it out with a straight face.

For dinner that night, the husband and I decided on tacos. It occurred to me when browning the meat, that I should hide something in the kids' food. Finally, the bag of fake bugs my mom bought Little Dude a few years ago would come in handy! I think they suspected something, but my kids got a good laugh from fake roaches hidden in their tacos!

Last night Little Dude found the ultimate hiding spot for one of those bugs. He finally took my advice and plopped one in the husband's cup of juice. What would have made it better was if the boy wasn't telling him repeatedly to drink his juice, while chuckling.

This stunt prompted the husband to get in on the joke playing. He thought it was funny to stick one of those bugs on top of the faucet in the kitchen. All I wanted was a drink of water. I didn't find the joke quite as amusing as he did. I love my boys, but last night, I didn't like them too much!

It seems yesterday was a day for me to not like anyone in my family much. While standing in the kitchen, pre-bug, GG stopped and looked at me. She made a comment on my hair. I had my hair down and curly yesterday and this usually leads to comments from people since I don't do it very often. Up until last night, I thought I should wear my hair down more often because of the positive reaction I typically get. After what my lovely daughter said, from this day on, I declare every day ponytail day!

"Mom, in this light, the top of your hair looks gray."

*insert shocked and hurt stare from me*

"No, I didn't mean gray. It's silver and pretty."

Little girl, silver is no better than gray! I love you, but I don't like you very much at this moment.

Now where's my hair dye?!

Until next time...

How to raise happy kids

I have been a mom for 9 years and I think that qualifies me as an expert who can give advice. At least in regards to kids up to the age of 9. If you have kids older than that, you may want to check back with me in a few years.

For now, I'd like to share a few secrets on how to keep your kids happy. I understand every family is different. What works for me may not work for you. I'll try to keep this list general so you can tweak it to fit your needs.

1. Reward your children for their good behavior. It will encourage them to maintain that positive behavior. A possible reward could be taking your children shopping so they can pick out a special treat. If this is the route you choose, be prepared for a long and drawn out experience. But know that your children will smile at the end.

2. Share your guilty pleasure, without letting your children know you are sharing. For example, buy 2 boxes of Cadbury Eggs and hide one (that one is for you). Your child will be thrilled at the fact that you bought them their very own box of Eggs!

3. Teach your children, answer their questions, and more importantly, give them the power of books. Just as a heads up, letting them stay up to 11pm on a school night reading will not result in a happy child the following day.

4. Don't be afraid to be silly and have fun with them. Need some ideas? How about hiding fake bugs in their underwear drawer! When they ask who did it, blame your spouse. Then pull your child aside and tell them to hide said bug in your spouse's drink. That is sure to make everyone laugh. Well, maybe not your spouse.

5. It might be every mom's worst nightmare, but don't be afraid to build Legos with your child. I don't care if there are 62 or 662 pieces in the box. Build! Just keep it to yourself if you "accidentally" vacuum up a bunch of Legos the following day.

6. Finally, hug and kiss your babies like there's no tomorrow. Blowing kisses are perfectly acceptable during the winter months when they bring home all that nastiness from school.

Until next time....

Kids never make things easy

Shopping with my kids is never an easy task. I rarely leave the store with anything for myself because I don't have enough time to actually look at anything. Most of my time is spent telling them to quit touching things.

This past weekend I found a task that is harder than shopping with my kids. It's shopping for my kids.

Last week the kids brought home their report cards. I am a very proud mama, so please excuse my momentary bragging. I'm not sure what I'm prouder of - the fact that GG brought home straight A's, or the fact that she finally got an O for outstanding in handwriting.

As far as I can see, Little Dude did equally as well. In Kindergarten, he doesn't get actual letter grades. His report card consists of PR for proficient and BA for basic. I equate this to A's and B's, with mostly PR's in key subjects like math.

As a special treat for their outstanding performance, I took them out to the toy store to pick out a special treat. I should have let Little Dude pick his treat first because he's the easy one - tools or trucks. But I went the "ladies first" route.

GG walked through at least 5 aisles with nothing striking her fancy. We moved on to video games, which we went through twice. She didn't see the game she really wanted. At this point my boy was getting just a tad impatient, so we moved onto his stuff.

First he found a weed whacker that lit up and made noise. Lovely. Then he spotted the construction aisle and we had to look, just in case he spotted the toy he really wanted. And he did - a remote control bulldozer.

I turned to GG to ask if she had made a decision regarding her choice. We walked through the video game aisle one more time. No dice. I told her we would buy her brother his toy and I would take her to another store who I knew had the game she wanted.

We walked to the front of the store, where I paid for her brother's purchase. Halfway between the register and the front door I turn to see GG walking, red faced, looking at the floor. She was trying not to cry so I asked her what was wrong. She had made her decision. Furious that she chose that moment to let me in on this, we turned to walk to the back of the store. She grabbed what she wanted and we walked back to the front of the store to pay for her purchase.

All in all, it was a 2 hour process. Kids never make things easy, but as long as they're happy in the end, it's what matters.

Now, could someone please tell me the point of Tech Decks?

Until next time....