What I Meant


While driving on the highway Monday to get my husband from work, I noticed an SUV behind me flashing her lights at me.

What did I do...

Put on my turn signal and switched lanes so she could pass me.

What I should have done...
Flip her off
slow down and actually go the speed limit
but make sure I'm right next to another car
so she can't pass me.

Oh, wait, sorry I DID the second one. Minus the flipping off. I really need to stop that cuz one of these days the kids are gonna up and flip someone off!

****************************************************

Little Dude was looking at his new truck book from the library. With a mouth full of chewed up, nasty french toast, he sneezed all over the book. I cleaned off the book and gave him the paper towel to throw away.

What he said...

{while pinching the towel between the tip of 2 fingers}

I don't want to throw away the sneeze! It's gross!

What I wish he would have said...

Sure Mom! I'll throw it away.
Afterall, you were the one to clean the book.
It's the least I can do!

****************************************************

Last week GG brought home not 1, but 2 notes from school about being in trouble for talking too much. Believe me, if anyone knows she talks too much, it's me! After 3 years, I guess she finally got a teacher that does something about it other than telling her to shush.

Her punishment from me...
no video games and
she had to write 10x "I will not talk in class".


What I meant to say...

You keep talking in class and you're gonna eat soap!

while that is tempting,
we don't need a child going blind
due to soap poisoning


****************************************************


The house phone rings. Right away I know someone wants to sell us something or they're looking for some credit union. Apparently this credit union use to have our number. It's still listed on their website and there's no way to contact them to have it changed. I obviously can't call. LOL!!!

Anywho, annoyed because I was cleaning
(really! I was!)

I answer.


Silence.


Just as I'm about to hang up, I hear

"Hello! This is Verizon calling about Fios.

May I speak with

*insert complete screw up of my name".


What I said...


Aw, screw it! I'll be honest. I hung up on him!


Verizon sucks!!!



Now hop on over to Chief's and see what others meant to say.

I promise ~ it's hilarious!!!


Until next time...

11 comments:

Sunday said...

Ha! I love the going blind from eating soap reference! Very a'la The Christmas Story!

Thanks for coming by my site! I love yours!

Kmama said...

LOL

I was the kid that got in trouble for talking too much at school too!!

Theta Mom said...

Annoying phone calls...nothing but annoying!

Steven Anthony said...

hehehehhe you andI would get into trouble, way to much alike;)

The Mommyologist said...

These are too funny!!!

The Princess of Sarcasm said...

The person who had our number before us apparently did not pay their bills. I love to answer the phone for THEIR calls! Except not.

Casy Schweickart said...

The person we bought our house from never changed her billing address so we keep getting her overdue bills in the mail. I have no clue where she is so I keep sending them back but we just keep getting them! I hate when people tailgate you and won't go around...so rude!

Meeko Fabulous said...

I do the same exact thing to cars that are all up in my backside! Muah ha ha!!! :)

Amber said...

Those are hilarious!

Chief said...

dont ever be afraid to flip the finger

its better than a shotgun

Tater Tot Mom said...

I love these! I so used to always get in trouble for talking too much and too loudly!

I'm so with you on the first one! I do the same thing sometimes!