I Don't Like Failure

I never did.

From Kindergarten all the way to my high school graduation I always received good grades. College... well, I admit I did slack for a bit, but in the end, I did well.

As a parent, it's another story. Some days I feel like I'm just not making the grade. I see little girls with pretty bows and clips in their hair. I know kids who have eggs and pancakes for breakfast. On a school day!

As long as GG's hair is brushed in the morning I am happy. And breakfast, we have waffles. The frozen kind you heat in the toaster. Sometimes it's cereal, but they have been on a serious waffle kick as of late. More GG. Little Dude is leaning towards French toast. Again, the frozen, pre-packaged stuff.

I am not a morning person. Never was. Even if I was up that early and had time to do such things, I wouldn't have the energy.

But just when I start to feel like I can do so much more to be a better parent, GG opens her mouth. Her words fill my heart and bring a tear to my eye.

GG to Little Dude: "Mom is the best mom ever

She's been saying this a lot lately because Little Dude keeps asking about a traumatic event in GG's life from 3.5 years ago.

My mom and I took the kids and hit the mall. At that time GG was 3 and she had a very special blanket - her Nene. It was a fuzzy Winnie the Pooh blanket with alphabet blocks on it and it went EVERYWHERE with her.

At some point during our excursion, she had to use the bathroom. I set Nene down on top of the paper towel holder. We went back to the food court to help my mom clean up from our meal and headed to the exit. Once both kids were in the car and buckled, GG freaked out. We never took Nene down from the paper towel holder.

I ran through the mall. I scoured the food court, looked in every bathroom (3 year olds pee a lot so we toured a few), and stopped to ask someone at the customer service desk. All this with tears in my eye. I couldn't bear to see the face of my baby girl when I didn't return with her lovey.

The look in her eyes when I returned to the car empty handed broke my heart. My mom and I cried right along with her. I tried explaining that she had a plethora of other blankets, just as soft. And mounds upon mounds of stuffed animals. But I knew those were lies. Nothing can replace Nene.

This is the one and only time in my life I will probably ever say this...

Thank god for Wal Mart!!!

Until next time....


Kristin said...

I think every parent has a story like this...and, despite all that, as long as we love them and try our best, our kids generally think we ROCK!

Ally said...

i don't have kids but i'm sure so many moms think that - my friend just vented about this very thing today. you guys are not alone!

Oka said...

You do rock, I would of never cried along with my daughter over a lost blanket, okay I'm a bad mama.

This is where I get the good mama award. I learned early on (first child), once you figure out what their favorite blanket is, you run out and get another one or two. You take turns offering them, washing them on a semi schedule so they all wear the same.

This saved me many a night of a grumpy child on occasions where a blanket got left at a friends, or they got sick, or out in the van in the pouring rain (yes I am that lazy). I always had a spare "blankie".

Queenie Jeannie said...

My son Shane lost his lovey and I totally understand how you feel!!! We bought him another one, and luckily he was ok with that. Hugs!!

Kmama said...

We have several lovies for each of the boys. We learned early on!! And yes, that is just so traumatic! But you must be the best mom ever...GG says so!