Isolation

Do you ever have one of those days where you feel like nothing you do is the right thing? Ya, I'm there. I'm in a funk. I read and hear from others about the things they do with their friends. Girls night out, road trips, that kind of stuff. Why do I never get to do those things? Yes, I have my BFF that I can't live without. We can talk for hours on the phone. Always have and probably always will. And there's a group of us who go out for lunch or dinner. That usually happens once a month. I love those get togethers, but my kids are always with us. Yes, I could ask my mom to watch the kids for a bit, but one of my friends in that group loves my kids. It usually ends up where my kids leave me and Chris alone to hang out with her. That's fine. Actually that's great. It's a little break for us. But a night out with friends sans kids... that's very rare.

I try to involve myself with things at GG's school, but at the same time, I try to avoid any huge leadership jobs. I would rather help a group than be in charge of one right now. Right now I want to enjoy my kids while they are still young and still have time for me. But then I hear that so-and-so was on the phone with so-and-so for hours talking business and pleasure. Um, you 2 haven't known each other any longer than I have known you. What did you do that I didn't do to have that kind of relationship?

Someone has a big day to celebrate and others go all out for it. I have a big day and nothing? What am I missing? Do i need to whore my business all over the place or something?

All through high school, I had my group of friends and I was quite happy with that. I wasn't considered one of the "popular" kids and that was ok. I had no desire to be a cheerleader or homecoming queen. That wasn't my style. But now I guess I kind of want that. I want that group of friends who takes getaways, I want that circle of friends that hang out on the weekends or chat on the phone all the time.

Connections in life are great and I have made some great ones. And I am referring to real life and through my blog. But I've been in the state of mind where it doesn't feel like enough. Am i the only one who feels like this? What exactly do I need to do to make more connections and improve the ones I already have?

Until next time...
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9 comments:

Shell said...

*Hugs*

I don't know. Sometimes, I'll feel like I made a connection with someone and I end up getting smacked in the face.

I see those same connections and I think- why talk to her and not me? I was talking to a mom at preschool the other day and we were getting along great, and then one of the other moms showed up and that was it- I was shut out. I felt a pang, wondering why I couldn't have that, too. Why I couldn't be included. And, I tried.

I hope someone can comment and have the solution, b/c I sure as hell would like to hear it, too.

singedwingangel said...

OH momma I hear ya. I have one truly good friend who lives about 50 miles from me. I currently raise 3 boys one husband 3 dogs 3 cats and a rabbit along with taking care of my mom. When do I have time for me?? Never that's when. I fall into bed as exhausted as I crawl out of it... and I get lonely, deep heart wrenching lonely and it is a sad scary place..

Kmama said...

You'll find through your comments that a lot of people relate. I know I do. I have a weird thing about friendships. I have a few very close friends, and the rest I just consider acquaintances. As a mom, I don't get much time to myself, so when I do, I'd much prefer it be with those few close friends. Therefore, I don't get out a lot either.

Hang in there!

Steven Anthony said...

I so relate to this.this is a tough one to get through, but you can and will;)

Adoption of Jane said...

Get out your funk and shake your junk!! I like doing stuff alone. My favorite is getting a babysitter and going to the movies by myself. I always want to see movies nobody else does so I figured I am my cheapest and best date!!

The Mommyologist said...

It can be SO hard sometimes!! I think that some moms just have their "set" group of friends and aren't interested in letting anyone else in, and that is tough!

It is weird though, I have a lot of friends but definitely don't get out as much as I'd like with them. I have also been the girl who wishes for girlfriends who like to take a weekend getaway a couple times a year, but it always seems that my friends have some sort of excuse every time why they can't go!

Amy said...

I know what you mean. It is hard to find that right person or friend to connect with. When I moved away from everything I knew with my husband it was hard. I would make friend and they were gone. It is just different making friends as an adult. Just to let you know I am a friend you can count on.

Manic Mother said...

I am the same way, I have lots of friends but I don't ever feel I make enough effort to actually get out of the house and see them. Thank God for blogging!

Just Another Mom of 2 said...

I completely know where you're coming from! We move around pretty frequently (about once a year or so). It is so hard to make a connection and really find someone where you don't have to be the one to make all the effort! (hugs) I wish I had good advice, but just know you're not alone!