Let me explain why I am the perfect mom...
~I give my kids snacks. The healthy ones, like Oreo Cakesters. Hey, they're the 100 calorie ones. That has to count for something, right?!
~I am very good at predicting the weather. I have mastered this skill so I can plan my day accordingly. For example, today it was supposed to rain. I had no desire to be stuck at the pool with my midgets while it rained. And besides that, I was really tired from swimming the past few days and my skin is starting to dry out from the chlorine. Every parent tells their kid little white lies, right?!
~I do laundry more than I care to admit. I love when my kids look all spiffy in their clean clothes. But washing the clothes is about as far as I get. If you want to wear your clean underwear, go downstairs and get them please.
~I used to have a job where the pay was in the paper form. I knew exactly how to balance work and kids. What you do is give your kids Tylenol in the morning before you leave. Hopefully you can get at least a half day of work in before their fever returns and you have to pick them up and go home.
~Cartoons can be very educational. Although that does depend on which child has control of the remote at the moment. But whatever they decide to watch, I'm sure has some educational value in it. And it gives me some peace and quiet. See! It's a win win situation!
~Taking my oldest to see her then BFF, Elmo was one of the best things I have ever done. I bought floor seats, 2 rows from the stage. I was being the best mom ever! It didn't matter that she wasn't feeling up to par. I just referred back to the day care rule. A little Tylenol accompanied by a few favorite snacks and all was good. Except she was a cranky mess through the whole thing. Don't worry, karma came back to bite me for that one. She doesn't remember a thing about her visit to Elmo's World!
You didn't think I was serious about thinking that I am the perfect mom, did you? In reality, I think I've been in denial all week. I am finally standing up tall and admitting that I am NOT mommy of the year!