Mommy Guilt

I had a completely different post for today in mind. One about how crazy the past few days have been preparing for GG's birthday. But I'll save that for tomorrow. The reason is because I came across this post by Kmama.

Her post brought up a lot of emotions for me. Guilt being the main one. For a long time I have questioned if Little Dude has allergies. Many of the signs and symptoms she mentions are too close to how Little Dude was. Unfortunately I didn't suspect anything until he was around 2 years of age.

Since he was born, he has been a master pooper. He was chugging 8oz bottles from a very early age. Early as in only a few weeks old. GG, one of the chunkiest babies I have ever seen, was the same way so I thought nothing of it. I was blessed with good eaters. But here's the thing, an hour after he chugged said bottle he would poop. You could almost time it to the minute and every stinkin time it was a huge, nasty mess. Myself and his daycare teachers chalked it up to him being a good eater.

Finally when he was 2 his daycare teacher suggested making a switch from whole milk to 2% and it made a world of difference! Over the years we have found other culprits. Things such as ice cream, icing, Cool Whip, or too much milk rarely result in an easy clean up. The one birthday of his when my uncle gave him all of his icing and ice cream, after Little Dude already consumed his own, was the worst thing I have ever seen. Little Dude was literally covered from head to toe in shit. I had to undress the poor kid in the bath tub!

I've definitely had suspicions that the poor kid was allergic to milk, or at least had some sort of intolerance to it. Looking back, is that why he pooped so much as a baby? Is that why he had trouble gaining weight? Should I have switched formulas and would it had made a difference?

Even though it wasn't on purpose, could I have done something differently to make his little life easier? Knowing that I could have makes the guilt level shoot through the roof!

We finally got him tested over the summer. The blood test was to look for any food allergies, but the focus was on milk products. The results were egg whites. A very, very slight allergy, but an allergy none the less. Ironically he had eggs for dinner the night before and we didn't notice any kind of adverse reaction. I have passed this information along to his school. God forbid something were to happen, at least they are aware of this.

But now I am stuck at a crossroads. The husband has a friend who, as an adult, had a very severe allergic reaction. Even though it's a slight allergy now, should I worry that something could happen at any given moment? Should I pursue my suspicions of other allergies and have him go through more tests?

No one wants to see their child go through some of these tests resulting in a life having to avoid certain foods, but living with the guilt of knowing you could have made a difference earlier is no fun either.

Until next time....


Anonymous said...

guilt is a horrible feeling :(

Kmama said...

You know what? Buster can't handle whole milk. Whenever he has it, he pukes. And we had him tested too, because I was worried that he had food allergies as well, but he doesn't. He's always been on 2% and does much better with that. How strange that the same thing worked with Little Dude.

And the icing and cake stuff? OMG. Not only does Buddy have reactions to it, but he becomes super hyper kid. It drives me crazy.

Don't feel guilty. You've done the best you can.