One More Day

One more day until things begin to change for us. I'm mostly excited, but I'm also scared, nervous and a bunch of other emotions that I can't put into words.

A friend of the husband's was bugging him to talk to the people at the company where he works because they were hiring. The husband wasn't searching for a new job but he agreed to talk. Probably to get his friend to stop bugging him. One talk led to another and that talk led to a trip to meet these people in person. This process lasted a few weeks and to say it wasn't nerve wracking would be a lie. A big one. The husband claimed he wasn't nervous. or at least at first. If things didn't pan out, he would still have a job. A good job that paid the bills, put food on our plates and a roof over our heads. But this new potential job... it was good. And I was a mess over it.

I couldn't sleep. I couldn't sit still. I know my husband is smart and I know he is very good at what he does. But what if. I hate what if's. I didn't want to doubt him. And I really didn't. But what if.

And it turns out my what if's didn't matter. I'm so proud to say that I have one more day of driving him to and from work and I couldn't be happier. I am so excited to see where this next chapter takes us. And him!

But the selfish part of me is so very thankful for that one more day and no more. Having to take him to work means more time in the car for me and less time to do the things that I need to get done. I always feel rushed. I hate feeling rushed. But after our drive today, I'm honestly scared to get back in the car and be on the highway.

I was in the car with the Dude and we were almost to our exit off the highway and a few minutes away from the husband's office. Suddenly all three lanes of traffic stopped. When traffic in the right lane slows or stops, it's usually because someone is driving entirely too slow for the highway or lots of people are lined up waiting to get off at the next exit. But all three lanes? Something bad happens to cause that and today was no different.

Driving on the highway everyday, you see things. Bad things. Probably more than most drivers because more bad things tend to happen on a highway compared to a residential street. And today? It was bad. very bad. I didn't see what happened. From what I'm reading in the news, I'm very thankful I only saw the aftermath. But I wish I didn't see anything at all. I've never seen CPR being done on someone in a true emergency. I've also never seen a dead person outside of a funeral home. I quietly cried as I drove by to get to my exit. the last I wanted to was explain what I just saw to my 9 year old. Childhood innocence only lasts a short while and he didn't need to know what we had just passed. My heart goes out to the deceased's family. I know bad things will continue to happen, but I'm so very thankful for one more day. One more day on a road where these things happen. One more day before one chapter closes and another exciting one begins. One more day at life.

Until next time...

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